Tri Doan
Ba,
Thinking of you brings memories, tears, and laughter… there are things I’ve never asked you why, stories that I’ve always kept close to my heart.
Years ago, one day I was at your house chatting with Trang. All of a sudden, we heard a loud noise, my bike fell to the ground in the front. We thought some kids in the neighborhood knocked it off while playing around. When I was about to go outside I saw you came in with your bike. Not thinking much about it, I went out and stood my bike up. I thought you were probably weaving your way in a narrow walkway and accidentally bumped into it. Minutes later when you were not around, Trang smiled and whispered to my ears: “I think Ba bumped into your bike on purpose”. Years later every time Trang and I reminisced the good old days, I always defended you, “No way! Ba wouldn’t do that purposely”
What say you, did you knock my bike off ?? 😂. Tell you what, it’s all good. If it was me, not only that I knocked it off I would also stomp on it… for “dám cua con gái rượu”. LOL
…
I learned a lot from your stories. Lesson #35: before you can steal a girl’s heart, you first have to win the hearts of her family members. Your stories were about how you tried to get a date with Mom, what you had done to win the approval of Mom’s father… However, I took all those tips in as hints and applied them. I couldn’t have had easier times… Thanks to my “insider” 😂
…
I’ve never told you about how important the letter that you wrote to me 3 years after I left VN. I had been tired and discouraged, feeling hopeless for a chance of seeing Trang again. Then one day I received a letter from you, and it changed everything. I don’t recall exactly what you wrote: words of encouragement, good news… It arrived just in time, and it revived my energy and hope. I started to write to Trang after months of disconnection. She wrote back and told me she was happy to see my letters again. I was happy too. Thanks to you, Ba.
…
July 2024, I saw you the first time since Trang passed away. What I had been hearing from Mom and Van was your health condition had gotten worse by week. On our phone chats, you kept asking me same things about Trang repeatedly, and I kept using the same excuse that she was going on a business trip. So when I saw you, I didn’t expect you would still recognize me, but you did instantly. When Mom was not around, you held my hand and said “Let it be. Just do your best” (“Kệ nó con, ráng lên”). I was stunned. I thought I misheard you, but your eyes turned red. At that instant I knew that you had recollected and were fully aware. We shared that moment that I’d never get.
From the time I addressed you as “bac Long” to “Ba”, I had always felt at ease being around you. The feeling that I only have with someone that I feel love; that is close to me, like family.
Ba, thanks for your love, for your approval to marry your “con gái rượu” who I loved with all my heart.
You lived a meaningful life. Rest in peace. We’ll all miss you.
Tri – your son-in-law




