I thought I should share my letter to Jen here for everyone to enjoy any time anyone needs a bit of company and thoughts through my love for Jen:
“Dear Jen,
I’m not sure what to say Jen. These kinds of things... these... words we offer up to each other are not necessarily for you are they Jen. Rather, they are for each other. Maybe. For those of us missing you and the unique magic you brought with you into our lives. How do we do this? How do we share you with others through our special lens? What do I tell them? They know... they know how much you loved your music. Maybe I can share a moment?
How you would bob your head to the down beats and drums with your hair swinging and illuminating in the stage lights. How your red dress swished around you as your shyness melted away and we would dance while touching fingers and laughing loudly. Your Gin and Tonics floated through your hands and lit you up like a firefly.
Then there is that memory of your giddy New Years kiss. I took such pride in being part of this adventure of yours. This adventure of who you are and learning what this meant. What you and I meant. What We meant ...for you. You shared something with me so new, precious and sometimes scary for you. I hope I held your hand tight enough. I hope I made you feel treasured and safe to be your whole self. I think I will always have these worries if I did this all right by you. But.... how can I share that with them? What is the best way Jen?
In one of your letters you sent to me... before this. You had written me a poem... and I’ll share it with them okay?
“Jen thinks I’m her hero.
I can go to 100 from 0
In just 10 seconds.”
Well Jen, in case I never told you myself, You are my hero. I hope... somehow and someway I was yours too. I don’t want our letters to stop... but... I think this will be our last one. I’m sharing it with them here. I hope that’s okay.
Love, your Mattie.
P.S. I’ll make sure to say hi to every moth I see. “